A FavoriteChildTrue Story

00:11"Life is not a lecture"

Hey, I am Dr. Gian. Life is not a lecture. It is a set of lessons. Pull up a chair. Let's talk about how to live them.

00:34Two brothers: Esau and Jacob

Let me tell you a story about two brothers. Their names were Esau and Jacob. Their father was Isaac and their mother was Rebekah. You can find this story in Genesis chapter 25 all the way through chapter 36.

00:51Each parent had a favorite

Now, here is something interesting. Each parent had a favorite. Isaac preferred Esau. Rebekah preferred Jacob. Both parents loved both of their boys. Don't get me wrong. But each one liked one son more than the other.

01:10Is it wrong to have a favorite?

Is that illegal? No. Is it automatically immoral? Not necessarily. Is it common? Oh, very common.

01:21Does God forbid a preference?

Does God forbid a parent from having a preference? Scripture doesn't say that preference itself is sin. But what if that happens in a family? Could any of the other siblings ever become a parent's favorite? Or perhaps someone else's favorite at some point?

01:46Would you have wanted to be the favorite?

As a child, would you have preferred to be your mother or father's favorite? How would your siblings have felt?

01:56Is it fair to have a favorite child?

Is it fair for a family to have a favorite child?

02:01Time and healing

If you have been hurt in this kind of situation, you might need time and healing before you can forgive. But let's also consider other perspectives on this common family problem.

02:16Likable, lovable, easy to be around

Every person has the chance to become likeable, lovable, easy to be around. But some people simply don't want to make the effort. They don't see the point. They don't care enough to try to please God or to please the people around them.

02:34Why do some people refuse to be kind?

Why do some people refuse to be kind? Right?

02:40Pride: "I don't need anybody"

A sense that they don't need anybody. They think they already have everything they want. So they treat others like they don't matter. And let me tell you, anyone who lives that way ends up with a sad life.

03:00When a child is struggling

On the other hand, when a parent looks at one of their children and sees a child who is difficult, a child who is struggling, that parent feels sorry for them. They wish that child would change. But how?

03:18Becoming kind: treating people well

By becoming kind, by treating people well.

03:22Why a parent chooses a favorite

So why does a parent choose a favorite in the first place? For many reasons, but mostly because that child thinks like them, looks like them, or behaves in a way the parent finds is just like them.

03:41Rebekah crossed a line

But Rebekah, Rebekah crossed a line. She manipulated Jacob, and the two of them lied to Isaac. Their only goal was to get the inheritance. In the process, they hurt Esau, they hurt Isaac, and they hurt themselves.

04:03Jealousy and envy

Instead of being parents who influenced their children for good, they led them into jealousy and envy. Siblings can compete, that's normal. But when a parent points a child towards money, at any cost, the result is pain.

04:25Money isn't everything

Everybody knows money isn't everything in life. But for some people, it becomes everything. They live for money and nothing else seems to matter. What about you, my friend?

04:40The journey of change

God, however, had a plan for both of those boys. It took a big crisis to get Jacob exactly where God needed him to be. So the long journey of change could begin. The journey that would turn Jacob into the man God wants him to be.

05:00Stories within the story

There are several portions of the scripture that I want to share with you here, related with parts of the story of Jacob. It would be very beneficial for you to read these passages yourself.

05:15Jacob and the ladder

For example, what happened in Genesis 28, verses 10 to 22, related with the ladder, the vision or dream, the experience Jacob had with God.

05:28Rachel and the well

Very interesting. Later, in chapter 29, verses 1 through 14, the story of Rachel and the well, how they connected to the point that they wanted to get married.

05:41His wedding

But the wedding of Jacob was not as he thought. Here is the scripture where you can find that part of the story.

05:49Jacob and Laban: sheep and wages

But then later, there is a situation between Jacob and his father-in-law. They always had these interesting stories between the two of them, business-wise. The spotted and speckled sheep. Laban was always changing the wages. Jacob didn't like that.

06:11Leaving Laban

Eventually, Jacob thought, it's time for me to go. The Lord spoke to him, made it so clear, and he departure from Laban.

06:20Meeting Esau

Everything pointed to what he wanted to do, which was the encounter with his brother, Esau.

06:29Read these stories yourself

Those passages that I just told you, and you saw the scriptures here, those are very powerful stories within the story that I think that any believer, and every believer, actually should read because you will extract important things for yourself.

06:51Is God finished with you?

Do you think God is finished with you? Do you believe he might still have something for you to do, or that he still wants to change you?

07:05When parents show clear favoritism

Parents make a terrible mistake when they show clear favoritism. That child will suffer. But when God has specific plans for someone, like he did for Jacob, after many things, that person's life will rise.

07:24Every step of the way

Like everyone, you have been through a lot in life. Somehow, you overcome those challenges. And you know God has been with you and helped you every step of the way.

07:40The next generation: Joseph's coat

Favoritism can also affect the next generation. Jacob seems to have forgotten what he went through because he gave Joseph, his son, a special coat. And just like that, another storm begins in the life of an innocent young man.

08:03"I don't want to repeat my parents' mistakes"

Isn't it true that many people say, "I don't want to repeat my parents' mistakes," or "I don't want my children to suffer the way I did"? And yet, suffering is an unavoidable part of life.

08:21Joseph and his brothers

As you can read later in Genesis, chapter 45, many years later, Joseph said to his brothers, "What you meant for harm, God meant for good, to preserve many lives." When God has a plan, nothing and nobody can stop it.

08:44Many years later

Many years had passed. From the moment, Rebekah and Jacob created this wrong idea in life to Isaac. Many years later, after that, here is Joseph facing a tremendous experience.

09:01Read the story of Joseph yourself

Listen, the story of Joseph requires another set of messages like this. But I encourage you to read it yourself. Believe me, you are going to enjoy very much reading and extracting beautiful, beautiful truths for your own life.

09:20Comparison, resentment and wounds

But speaking about the issue that we are discussing today, favoritism creates comparison, resentment, and wounds that can last for generations.

09:33God works even through our mistakes

At the same time, God's purposes are never canceled by human failure, because the Lord God works even through our mistakes.

09:44Love each child deeply

The call to parents is simple. Love each child deeply and don't elevate one at the expense of another.

09:54True character

And the call to every one of us is this. Become the kind of person others find easy to love, not through schemes, but through true character, humility, and a desire to please God.

10:11John 1:12: the Lord has no favorites

John chapter 1 verse 12 says, "Those who receive Jesus and believe in Him, He gives them the right to become children of God." Remember, my friend, the Lord God has no favorites. If you like to read, I encourage you to try this. It's a good reading related with this message of today.

10:36A little humor

I encourage you to continue watching. And now I want to share with you a little humor. See ya!

10:45Hide and seek

Why did the favorite child always win at hide and seek? The parents never looked for anyone else.

10:54Alone in the living room

Why is the favorite child always so calm playing with a toy in the living room? The rest of the kids are having fun outside. They don't want to have him around.

11:05Jacob's disguise

Why did Jacob's disguise fool Isaac? It had all the right touches.

Transcribed from the video and lightly corrected. Spoken words are kept as Dr. Gian said them.